Club409
The Best Waste of Your Time, Ever.

So you remember in Pulp Fiction when Umma and John are at dinner and she tells him about a joke she says in her pilot, but it gets built up so much that she refuses to tell it? Well that's what happens when we're at the bar and you guys are like "go talk to that chick! at least we'll have a story to tell!" It gets so worked up that I tense up and I can't think of anything to say. So basically I need to OD on some drugs and have a shot of adrenaline jabbed directly through my breast plate and into my heart before I'm comfortable with talking to a rando at a bar. At least when I'm under pressure.



I just don't know how to start the conversation, not because I'm worried that'll I say the wrong thing--although that's part of it--I just can't think of anything to say. So I end up just standing there all awkward. Seriously I walk up and I'm like "Hey...how's it going?..." ::long awkward silence:: ... "You pregnant? Wanna be?" <-- (See even that would've been terrible and awful and I might've been slapped or a glass may have been shattered with a pool stick, but I can't even think of thatn in the moment. It's like a I have writer's block of the mouth)



I have trouble thinking of things to say to my friends, so wtf I'm gonna say to some skank at a bar? I'm not creative or witty enough to think of something clever on the spot, so I just don't say anything.



Anyways, sorry for being a drag last night, I just couldn't get the sand out of my snatch. I'll find it, I just have to be in the right mood.

Is that why you never talk to me, Arif?

lady troubles? my man david d knows a few things

keep telling yourself that while we take all the women home.




out of the several years ive been reading and listening to his material i've learned maybe a few 'pick-up' techniques. but, i have learned thousands of ways to be a better man.

yeah, you really won with that one